


My God I love this man (Sam/Dean ficlet; schmoop)

by Nina36



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, Schmoop, established wincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-01-23
Packaged: 2017-11-26 15:30:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nina36/pseuds/Nina36





	My God I love this man (Sam/Dean ficlet; schmoop)

Inspired by this gif, made by the talented [Lilly](http://xfalsesense.tumblr.com/) xfalsesense)  
Also? Schmoop. A lot.  
  
 _My God I love this man…_

This thought catches Sam unguarded. Not that he isn’t aware of Dean, of how much he loves him…how could he? Loving Dean has been the only crazy constant of his fucked up life.

Monster are real…but Dean has always been by his side, watching his back, he was there, whenever he opened his eyes after a nightmare when they were kids…just like he was next to him, after a job to patch him up.

His father was an obsessed son of a bitch…he had resented him for most of his life, but he had never really felt his absence: Dean has always been there, for him, teaching him everything he knew - and only now he wonders from whom Dean learned so many things and he is in awe with his brother- showing him the ropes, letting him be a brat who loved his books and soccer and had dreams of a normal life.

He has always loved Dean…it’s as natural for him as breathing, even easier at times - and yes, Dean can be a snarky asshole, he can be frustrating, reckless and impossible…but underneath it all…Sam has always seen who Dean really is…and has loved him.

 

He hasn’t always been _in love_ with Dean…but when he realized he was, it wasn’t a big deal. Scratch that: it was, but not for the whole: he’s my _brother_ , this is _wrong_ aspect. He remembers freaking out because for a moment he felt so exhilarated, so full of that love…for a moment he could see everything with such a clarity that it scared him.

Being in love with Dean was like being in love with the sun, it was like being in love with the sea…Dean is everywhere, he surrounds him, he flows in his blood - and not just because they _are_ blood, Sam suspects it’d have been the same even if they hadn’t been related. Dean is his world…and as much as Dean loves him - and it still humbles Sam how much Dean actually loves him - Sam knows it’ll never be enough.

It catches him unguarded, because after so much time, he should be used to loving him. He should be used to his outrageous remarks, to his eyes, to his smile and his skin.

He really should…

Too bad his heart, his soul hasn’t got the memo. They are in a parking lot, and all Sam can do is stare at his brother…his lover…his whole world, as he looks him getting in the Impala, and for a moment he is deliriously happy.

He falls in love, again…and after a bit, when Dean’s eyes fix on his and his lips stretch in a knowing smile as he looks at him, it happens again: he falls, hard, for Dean.

It’s like the first time, a moment of clarity so powerful that his breath catches in his throat and everything that matters is right in front of him: Dean.

_My God…I really love this man._   



End file.
